Getting Started Again

Yes, this blog has been on a long break. The thing is, things were insane, here, and I did not have what it took to keep up with everything, but now things are back up and going. This is just the first post to get things started. It is my hopes to start things off where I left them, and then to increase my posts to more than just one a day. Right now, I would be happy with just five a week. I do love to write, it is just that, right now, the things I want and the things I have to do are far apart and fight each other. Job interviews and family issues are on the front of the my list. Then there is the fact that, with all that is going on, I can’t even sleep, and a lot of people think if you are not sleeping, you have a lot of free not-sleeping time. Most of you don’t know there is a lot of time laying in bed, thinking about all that is going wrong, and that just a little bit of sleep would make it better. Then you start counting. “If I go to sleep now, I can still get six hours. That will be enough.” or “Has it been an hour yet? I think I have just wasted another hour not sleeping.”. Then with all of that, you start to think about how nothing will be right, since you can’t even sleep. I feel like I am behind on everything, and no matter what I do, there is no catching up. I don’t know if it is just in my head, or if I am really defeated. There is a lot of things that are just in my head, that is the problem with being OCD. No one is ever just laughing, they are laughing at me. The mail always holds bad news that you don’t know about, but has just caught up with you. So you wait a few hours, so you don’t have to deal with it. Then you get the mail, and there is only junk mail. Then the clock starts back for the bad news that comes tomorrow. I have been wondering, lately, that if I have money and knew I was healthy, would my mind let me rest, or would I go nuts thinking about some other stuff that has not entered my mind? I would like to think that there is a line, and when I cross it, I will not freak out all the time. It seems that each day it gets harder to get started, but there is no other option. There was this thing that Winston Churchill would tell people during WWII and the Germans are not bombing everyone and thing I love but still. When things get to to the point where I just don’t want to move in the back of my head I hear KBO (Keep buggering on). And I do until I won’t I guess so that is what I am going to end you with today KBO.